A tough week that ended well...

So this week was kind of interesting. It started off kind of rough, I always start off my week with the students in group 2. We have the students divided into two groups, group 2 consists of the kids that have a harder time learning and are generally a little bit more disruptive students. This does not extend to all group 2 students but it is a fairly common trait for the group. So on Mondays and Tuesdays I have Group 2. Monday was kind of rough, they didn't really listen very well, and I was kind of frustrated. Then Tuesday came, for some reason on Monday night I could not sleep at all, I did not fall asleep until after 2 and then tossed and turned all night until my alarm went off at 7. So I was not feeling 100% to begin with and then I had 4 classes which did not listen at all. I was getting so tired of saying listen, stop, don't talk to each other, raise your hands, have and various other things and I kind of cracked. I actually cried in front of a class, I held it together for the most part...but the tears definitely wanted to make an appearance. Then my counterpart came in and I started to cry and then some other teachers saw me cry so now they think that I hate it here...which is not true...because I do like it here in Trusesti and in Romania...it just got to me and I needed to have a minor breakdown. Well then the week went on and it got better I had my group 1 who are generally much better (though not always) and I think they heard about my breakdown so they were on extra good behavior.

Then I was just feeling kind of down still so I went into Botosani to go shopping. The funny thing is I just started walking...kind of knowing where I was going...but then went away from the stores and just walked. I found the big park in Botosani and it was so wonderful just being in the middle of a park. Even though I was in the middle of a city...I felt like I was in the country again. It was peaceful and quite and beautiful. There were trees and sculptures and just people sitting around watching others. It was so peaceful and beautiful and it just felt like all of my problems went away I really loved it.

Then on Saturday I got to see Tory, she was the volunteer that was here before me. She was just here for the weekend visiting the family that she stayed with, but I got to hang out with her for a while on Saturday...which was really nice. It was so great to talk with someone who knows what it is like. Sometimes it is really hard to follow someone, because the people are here remember Tory how she was when she left...not when she came. So they often forget that I don't know the language that well, and I am still rather timid and that life in general is difficult everyday. So they don't understand why I am quite or not super outgoing all the time because Tory was. Talking with Tory really helped though, and kind of sparked a determination in me, so hopefully I can make a change and start attempting to put myself out there more and just through myself in there not caring if I make a fool of myself. That is the only way I am going to learn things, and I don't know I just feel different now. A good different though!

Tory and I also had an interesting experience. We were taking a walk along a road and there were lots of carutas (horse drawn carriages) and one stopped and asked if we wanted a ride. I had never ridden on a caruta before...so we said sure. The guy was chatting and found out that he knew Tory. He had given her a ride one day...this time by car, he took her to school. So they chatted for a while and then he mentioned that he works at the piata on Fridays and that I should come to his booth/table area to get cheese and sour cream and milk from him. He has good dairy products so I am sure if I went to his stand he would just be tickled pink. He also said that he has 3 boys in Italy and a good wife and a good family and good animals and if I ever want to come to his village to visit him he will take me in like one of his own. So I am sure I could get some really good Romanian food there....I don't know if I ever will but who knows what will happen :) Then we decided we were going to go to the top of the hill so he said lets go fast! So he made the horses run! I was holding on for dear life to a chain in the back, dirt was getting kicked up into my face, he grabbed onto my arm so I wouldn't fall off and we went very fast down an uneven road, in a wooden caruta....a very interesting experience to say the least! I wanted to ride a caruta....and I got the true Romanian experience.

So that was about my week...just lesson planned today and did some baking. I am bound and determined to meet my neighbors...I am going to do it this time, I have to because that is the only way that I am going to be able to meet people is be introducing myself. I just have to start and once I start I know I will be fine and the more people I know the better and the more integrated I will be. I just have to find that confidence and I will be fine. I will get there and I will do it and I will make this experience everything that it can be!

I miss and love you all everyday. Know however that I am doing fine, I just had a bad day....but I got over it and I am going to get back on the horse and I am going to do better, I know I can do it! I think about you every day and I hope you are well and happy! I am looking forward to what I hope to be a productive week and hopefully I will have many good things to write about next week! I will have a Halloween party on Saturday so I am sure that I will have interesting things to say about that :) So that is all for this week!

La revedere!
Pana mai tarziu
~Sarah B.